His 21st Birthday
When i was young,on my every birthday,i would wish for a brother.
a brother who i would care & love.
when i was 5,my wish came true.
my family had a hard time choosing a name for him,
but in the end,we named him Vincent.

I thought that i could live happily with him forever,
but God reduced his lifespan & our hearts broke when the doctor said he had Alzheimer,
a disease which affects the mental abilities including memory, language, and cognition.

I blamed myself for everything,for not being able to take care of him properly,busying myself with school work,
& he was only 5 when it happened.though that incident struck me badly,
i did not give up hope,but showed him more care then ever.

At the age of 12,he was struck down with kidney cancer.
it was another heart shattering news,as i looked at him struggling for survival.
despite his illness,he continued to be active in school & the teachers loved him.
When he was 16,he was struck with leukaemia,
in which he was forced to stop being active.

That 3 incidents broke my heart badly & i cried out one day,in my room.
I cried out to God,"Why?Why must you do this to him?Why?!"
I didnt know that Vincent came into the room.
Then he told me something which i was shocked to hear,
"Why do you cry for me?If its the Lord's will to take me away,let him.After all,we were,made by him & we shall die by him."
That sentences shocked me & after he left the room,i felt a strong presence calming me down.

When he was 20years 3months old,we brought him for his usual check up & we were shocked to know that he had only 9months to live on.
I scolded God for making his life shorter & i was deeply sad with his life.
From an energetic,hyperactive person to a dying person.

Even though i was sad,i tried to spend my time with him within that 9months.
I told him stories at his bedside in the hospital,i read him stories from the bible.
when i told him about how Jesus died,he screamed,"No!That's not how it should be!No,it's not fair,it's not true!"
Somehow,i calmed him down & eased him.

On the last day of his life,i spent the whole day in the hospital with him,telling him how nice heaven was.
As I told him that,we would be happy if he was happy,he suddenly said,"Angie,that time you told me the story of how Jesus died,that crown,its not a crown of thorns!It's a shining golden crown,the brightest crown i've ever seen."
Looking at the spot where he pointed,i smiled sadly but i knew his time was almost up.

Few minutes before he died,he said this to me,
"Angie my sister,please tell mum & dad that i'm going with that man ober there,tell them not to worry about me.I'll be alright."
I once again looked at the same spot where he pointed & i felt a warm presence in that room.Tears flowed down like a river.

On the last minute,he said,"I'm going now,please tell mum & dad that i will be alright.I love you Angela,I love you my beloved sister.I will miss you...."
His voice trailed off...
I burst out crying,crying for him,grabbing his body,i shouted,"Why?Why must you leave me?!"
Then he suddenly opened his eyes,"Let me go Angie,I must be with my father now."
I let go of him & wept bitterly,i knew he was in heaven.

As the clock stuck 12,i suddenly remembered something.
It was his 21st birthday.



argh...
was late for fall in,& i didnt really care-d cause i wasnt in the mood.
hated it,the drills @#$%.
warmed up,played tribal & i was told that i cannot stretch sideways,but its natural for me.
so i hope i can transfer section.

saw denise by coincidence & she said she was having choir.
so i said,let me go help the Altos'
during 1 of the warm up,i was told not to sing,then i was "did i sing wrongly?".
but,the 2nd instructor said that i sang well & did the correct thing.
everyone looked at me,embarrassed,i looked down.

then durng a 10mins break after singing "Dandansoy",i asked miss Xuan to play for me "Days of Quiet Joy".
so,i sang solo & i sang with confidence.
it was the first time i sang that song,yet,i got the song correct except for 2 parts.
i was so happy with myself.
went home with a headache.


~ends~

Labels: story

My Vision
"argh!!ARGHHH!!!
ARGH!!!
NO!DONT DO THIS TO ME!!
ARGH!!!"

no...it cant be happening...
this cant be happening to me...
the voices...i've heard them before..
no.....NO!!!
its not true...it cant be true...

i see...i see a vision...a vision of war & sadness among every land...
no...please tell me its not true...please tell me its not gonna happen...
why...why must it be me..?
why must i know everything before it happens..?
why cant i be a normal human being leading a normal life..?

i see...i see a girl..
a girl running away from the soldiers of death...
running as fast as she could,finding a place to hide...
hide far away from them...
& i see...the girl's face...
it's...it's...it's me...

saying a prayer quietly,she sang hymns in her heart,
hoping that everything would end soon..
as she got up to surrender & die for the Lord,
a bright white figure descended from the sky,the heavens,with angels surronding it...
as it landed,she gave praise to the Almighty one,rejoicing & was glad.

the Lord stopped all the war,the fighting,the bloodshed,the anger,the sorrow,the pain,the sadness.
And He said,"I sent my only son to this world.But even after He died & forgave our sins,you humans did these!How ungrateful can you be!"
then,everyone repented & beat against their breast to show how sorry they were.
but all God said was,"I loves the world so much & I gave my only son.But even after all these happened under the wicked hands of man,I forgive all of you.Go in peace,my child."
they all went in their own directions & praised the Lord.

then,the Lord took the child in his hands,
patted her head,blessed her family with riches & gladness,
took her up into heaven with Him,
and there,she served him happily for eternity.

As i woke up from this weird dream,
i said softly in my heart,"Praise the Lord for he is Good.Amen."



slacked the whole day.
watched Soul Eater again!
nice man,wont get bored of it.but stopped until episode10.

chatted,encouraged someone,etc.
thanks MISS LEO for blog shopping for me.
though i lazy lah,haha.
but Thanks Loads!

just to note:
I'll be typing in my stories,poems,songs I made.
i hope you people enjoy them.
do feel the emotions i tried to expressed,cause I wrote them because i experienced them.
give me your comments on the ste poems,stories,songs!
Thanks!


~ends~

Labels: story

Dillemma
sinking into negative thoughts now..
as i start crying & regretting about the past,my past.
why cant i just forget everything & continue life happily?
why?
as the events appear,i felt so angry,so hopeless,so useless...
why?why wouldn't anyone feel the same?
why does everyone have to lead a good life,a better one than mine?
i started crying,crying until i couldn't take it anymore.
there's only one option left...Suicide

i got ready everything,the razor blade,a suicide note.
i drank loads of water.
i got the bath tub ready with hot water.
sitting down in the bath tub,i relaxed.
then i put the blade above my veins.
getting ready to cut,bleed & die,i said my last prayers.

then,all of a sudden,2 of me appeared.
an angel with the most brightest halo above her head,
& a devil with the most ugliest smile ive ever seen.
as both sides argued on my survival.
i looked at each of them in a dilemma.

then,i asked myself.
survive or die?everlasting pain or everlasting happiness?
then i just slash myself,not on my veins,on my flesh.
as i did that,i vented all my anger on it.
then,i knew i made the right choice,
i survived & vented my anger already.

as i soaked myself into the water,
i started looking at my bloody arm,dripping with blood.
but in my heart,i knew that dying isnt worth...

~ends~

Labels: short story

here are the pictures we took yesterday,
though we looked weird in water,it was really fun!!


Me!!


The Trios


Me,Liyun & Jilin behind a waterfall


Me floating on the water


Denise & I


Me on the life buoy[aka "float"]


Another unexpected shot


An unexpected shot


Ing,Denise & Jilin


Ing & I[trying to balance,while taking the pic]


2 Big Barbies' on the swing


The Clique


yesterday was 1 of the best day of my life!!
when i hang-ed out with my clique,swimming,slacking,chatting.
we had sooo much fun that we decided to have it again on the 4th,after collecting our results.


im not sad,neither am i angry.
now i realised,its puppy love not true love.
im not gonna be in love anymore.
leave it to fate to decide.

i was still thinking negatively.
but after all that miss life said,decided that its just gonna be me,my friends,my life,with no interference.
now,i am just gonna concentrate on my studies,& be who i want to be when i grow up.



though we had great times,im just gonna treat you as though i dunnoe you.
now,i just gave up on you,
i dun wanna wait.
i regret confessing,regret waiting.
my studies & friends are more important.
peace out.


~ends~

.i whine today, have u? .

Monday, October 27, 2008

haix...
today is indeed the most boring day in my entire life.
& if i was to make a chart for the top 20 boring days in my life,
today would be top of the list.
gawd...
imboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimbored
imboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimbored
imboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimbored
imboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimbored
imboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimbored
imboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimbored
imboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimbored
imboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimbored
imboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimbored
imboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimbored
imboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimbored
imboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimbored
imboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimbored
imboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimbored
imboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimbored
imboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimbored
imboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimbored
imboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimbored
imboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimbored
imboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimboredimbored.


yes!
of course,gonna go shopping in november period.
maybe with liyun & waihian.
seriously,my sense of fashion sucks,
sticking only to skinnys,jackects & polo tees.
probably gonna shop for clothes for Christmas,& of course getting wine & presents for Christmas for friends & family.

really cant help but to think,
why must it be him.
then i fell into sadness,anger...
i started questioning,why this,why that.
but then,ms life[waihian],answered all my questions with patience,its like she knows everything about life.
Thank You!!
ive decided to just let it pass.
whether i wait for him or not,is my own will.


you very funny,
girls sms you,you nvr reply.
guys sms you,you reply.
are you a gay?
i doubt it.
regardless of watever,i will still wait & help you de..
whether i will still wait or not,
ask fate.
but for now,ILY.
[hugs&misses]


~ends~

.i whine today, have u? .

today's probably gonna be the most boring day in my life.
nothing to do except to read online stories & chat with MISS LEO.
yea,quite lame la,on both side,both of us are lame peeps.
but we still can humour each other at times.
haha.


i probably cant wait for tmr when we,as in us,get to hang out together for the last time,before we see our results.
so...
GAM BA TEH,my friends!
allthe best.
cant wait to push ppl into the pool.
haha.


msg-ed you but there was no reply...
is it ever gonna work out?
are we still gonna talk?
i really miss you but do you even have a heart?
have you ever thought?
i hope that you will think about it...
ILY.
[hugs&misses]


~ends~

.i whine today, have u? .

Sunday, October 26, 2008

ok la,today
went to meet friends to go to IMM.
but ended up being heartbroken...
feelingless human...
emo kia...

had a deal with wenke,so i needed to do something.
but i nvr cause the person already know...
wa lao...
saded....~HeartBroken~


i feel like smoking.
i feel like cutting/slashing myself.
i feel like just jumping off the window.
im so....emotional...

i suddenly started thinking,why i do not get angry nowadays.
then,i just dunnoe why,no reason pops up.
i suddenly asked myself,why am i keeping promises?
why cannot cut/slash?
why cannot do some stuff?
but then i realised that it was because God made special people called friends to care for you & help you.
but there are few who are heartless ppl & they wont care.
exactly,i decided to just find stupid stuff to do,but no,smoking is....well,i dunnoe...



you are sooo feelingless...
i didnt even say ILY to you...
you just went home...
didnt speak,didnt say bye...
that was so heartbreaking,you know!!
omg....
its sooo heartbreaking....
watever happens,
i will still wait for you de...
[hugs&misses]


~ends~

.i whine today, have u? .

Saturday, October 25, 2008

today...sianz....
no mood also...
go church,slacked & then go bugis buy clothes.
then so....angry lahh!!!

my brother punched me,so i go push him,he fell down.
then he keep punching back.
then i kept pushing him.
then everyone looking at us.
i dont care,damn angry ma!!
then mother scold us.
hacked care.

then bought another skinny jeans,top,& of course,jacket with hood!!
love it man!!
then went to have dinner & nvr talk to anyone.
hack cared everybody.


ignore then ignore.
i also wont care de.
everything is also the eldest at fault lah!
ya lah!ya lah!everytime also my fault.
they always correct lah!
watever~hate it,hate everyone lah!
all i could do is talk to my pathetic eeyore & cry to it!!
no one will also care!!
hmph!hate them forever lah!



yes!!
cant wait for tmr!!
although i cant wear the best clothes,
i still can be at my best.
i just hope that you will reply.
[loves&kisses]


~ends~

.i whine today, have u? .

Friday, October 24, 2008

anw,here's my results.
i still think its not good enough.

Subject/ Marks/ Grade
English Language :66 / Grade3
Chinese N(A) :37 / Ungraded
Mathematics :83 / Grade1
Science :81 / Grade1
Geography(revised):54 / Grade5
History(revised) :59 / Grade5
Literature(E) :88 / Grade1
Design&Techonology:76 / Grade1
Home Economics :68 / Grade3
Visual Arts :69 / Grade3
CME : Grade A

Total: 681/1000
Percentage: 68.1%
Class Position: 3/45
Level Position: 5/88
L1B2: 5


see...
not good right?
sad la...
next year,i will work harder de!!

~ends~

.i whine today, have u? .

hmmm....how should i say...
on wednesday,went out after school to get birthday cake with peixiang,aziz,zhiwei & waihian.
then choose black forest then buy M&M put on top.
then msg-ed all those lower brass players.
but in the end,aziz say invite the trumpets so might as well invite the french horns players too.


went to cck,NOT chee chuan kai but chua chu kang.
then went to minitoons get presents for chuan bo,since im giving my mini eeyore to chuan bin.
then waihian wanted to eat,so she eat lor.
i only want my cheeseeeeeeeeee burger.
then go buy my cheeseeeeeeeeee burger le,went back to gombak.
bought drinks & food,then went to the carpark there sat down,
hoping that we could watch the sunset,but dun have...
saded..
but we did something,we did.....
Cloud Reading!!


then played music & then went home,but i evil.
i keep telling her about ghost,etc etc.
haha.she scared lor.
hahahahahahahaha.
then i went home.



today got back results,& was over the moon!!
did ok la,but...but....cant go express....
regretted not going last year..
I WANNA TAKE SEC3 LITERATURE!!

then duing geography,go library.
stupid boys keep making so much noise,how to read like that?!
nvm,then keep following us?!
so complain lor,then i wanted to laugh.damn funny lor!
then is like they go see movie,me & liyun go to the bookshelf there chat.now no one to disturb.haha

then english was like nice lor,almost cried during a show about a guy who has no arms,no legs..
very sad lor...
then me & sihui say we next year buy from tiong.
then i was chatting with liyun about not going to express & cant take literature next year.then tiong interrupt us.


conversation:
tiong: then work harder la.
me: diao...got lor!anyhow say me...
tiong: you wan to take literature right?work harder go express la.
me: by the time,too late already...no use lor...
tiong: ya la.
me: diao..(wth is she thinking man..)


diao.make no sense right?
sooooo laaaaaaaaaaaaameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!



then chinese,chen qiao nvr come.
then go to 2E3 see movie..
sianz...
then after that,went to collect the cake & prepare stuff.


then celebrate.
sing birthday song,then got upper sec help us.
happy lor!
then ate abit of cake & me,liyun & syharita wan to smash the cake on the brothers faces.
but then chuan bo & chuan kai saw & ran.
then chuan bin slow reaction,dunnoe.so i go smash the cake on his face.
hahahahahahahahaha.



walk ly home.
then take bus.
reached home at about 3 plus almost 4.
then rush,change & in the end i reached first.
then waited for 30 plus mins.
LIYUN PIG!!
hahahahahahahahahahaha.


go tanjong pagar.then went to find lau pa sat.
ate korean food,then go buy drinks.
then alicia buy sweet,then i go say,"wa,you 1 person eat so much sweet,no wonder you bogei(toothless).haha"
seriously,jokin neh.but really hahahahaha.



then is like almost late la..
but reached there in time.
then i look around & started to laugh so loud that ppl must be thinking i siao.
then....it started!!


omg...
the first few songs were ok la,but as the concert went on,it got more boring..
then i remembered,its thursday.
an uneasy feeling trickled down my spine.
was super duper uneasy.


then finish le,walked in the rain to the mrt station.
then remembered thatliyun got a head problem & she was complaining that she was cold.
so lend her my jacket.
then she wear,then i say "cover your head".
then she say "oh,ok,cover my head."
her reaction was sooooooooo cuuuuuuuuuuteeeeeeeeeee man!!
then me & waihian laugh.


reach mrt station,
went to the washroom.
then took the 2nd train & train-ed home.
got off at dover & went to find a cab as i walked along singapore poly.
but i had a feeling that there was things there that weren't there,
so i just took a bus & walked back home.


exploded when i reached home,my mum touched my stuff,
WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.

then was damn angry lah!!
HMPH!
i mean,did so well,nvr praise me at all,got my 3rd back,nothing.
might as well dont study right!!


anw,didnt really managed to bully
MISS LEO,
but then had a great time.
when she said that she wanted to ask suai ge.(diao!!)
but sadly,there weren't any.
haha.
then blahblahblah.





really like to smash cakes on ur face.
the expression is like...
nvm,do you know or do you not know?
wish that i could spend time with you alone...
but i know...i think its impossible...
sorry that today nvr let you see my results cause i came in late for about 1~2 periods,because of duty.
really sorry...
anw,this 2 years with you from 1A1 to 2A1 was really very meaningful & precious to me.
especially when we were sitting in the same way like last year.
thanks alot for everything...
now,i only hope that next year we will be in the same class.
dunnoe how will i survive without you...
I REALLY REALLY WANT TO BE WITH YOU.
i miss you,i want you,i need you.
[loves&misses]



~ends~

.i whine today, have u? .

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

OMG!!!!
ALICIA!!!Why you so smart!!??
AH!!!
ok,why am i panicking??
diao.relax~
shhhh...top secret,cannot tell anyone...
hehe.
next time grow up be detective.

omg!omg!your birthday on thursday & i dont know what to get for you!!
dang!
still,i will make that day special & nice for you..
even if you are sad after getting your results on that day,i will try to make you happy one way or another de...
i promise de...
I Miss You,I love you...
[hugs&kisses]


~ends~

.i whine today, have u? .

The Story of 1001 Wishes



Click here to play this game
a very meaningful video.
pls enjoy!


yes!
im gonna see you in 8hrs time.
cant help but to keep counting,because i miss you!
ok that was too.....nvm.
dunnoe how im gonna survive during the holidays without seeing you.
hmm....maybe the group photo?
yea....

seldom talk to you.
talk to you,neither of us can understand what each of us is saying...
its like we're speaking alien language..
but still,im happy that you improved on ur english..
& ur math standard is still up..only ur science deproved..
i can understand why...
too much competitive atmosphere in the class & of course at home?
like what i said,i will help you.

anw,theres band later.
gawd,i really cant stand male trombonists,
especially the fattest one.(hehe)
no wonder mdm lee calls him "Aunty Chee".
mdm lee says,
"front,back,left,right also talk.like aunty like that.but the back one wont reply him.the back one scared get scolding."
then everyone look,is chuan bin.
therefore,i should call him, Aunty Chee.
haha.


i cant help but to think of you everyday.
though you're not with me,i still imagine as though you are beside me...
i keep laughing at myself before i could say,
i miss you.
even though we could or could never be together,
we still have our hearts,
to store all the good & bad times we had.
so that we could remember all the times we were happy & sad.
the times when you helped,stopped & protected me from the guys last year,
stays vividly clear in my mind.
though there are people in class who spread rumors,
they can nvr spread about us,as they think its impossible.
only those who are clever enough to guess that it is you,knows whats going on.
i seriously cant stop myself from thinking about you everyday,every moment & say:
I MISS YOU.
[loves&misses]

will update later,if i can.
~ends~

.i whine today, have u? .

Monday, October 20, 2008

Aiseh!
know someone's....
aiseh!!
cant wait to watch the fun,haha!
dun sad la..
might be in the same class with her?
haha.
you dont spread mine,i dont spread yours.
a deal.


haha.
sad la,today nvr go out.
just slacked & used com.
haha.
then download stuff.
chat with ppl...
nothing else le...
just got band tmr & gonna work my muscles out!!
i wanna be a strong tough person by next year who has muscles!!


yea!
1 more day,no,less than 12 hrs more to see you...
everytime look at you,see you do drills like so pathetic.
these,i cant help cause its something to do with you.
but next year,i will help you de...
promise.

song for you:
I Wanted You by Ina:
Lately I've been thinking 'bout wat i can do
I've been stressing to fall back in love with you
I'm so sorry that I couldn't follow through
But I can't go on this way
I've got to stop it babe
You've been wonderful in all that you can be
But it hurts when you say that you understand me
So believe me I, I am sorry I.. I am sorry I, I

I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I love
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you

I've been pushing hard to open up the door
Trying to take us back to where we were before
But I'm done I just can't do this anymore
Cause we can't be mended
So let's stop pretending now
We've been walking round in circles for some time
And I think we should head for the finish line
So believe me I, I am sorry I.. I am sorry I, I

I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I love
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you, yeah

I, I I'm so sorry baby but
I, I I've got to pack up and leave but
I, I'll always remember how we came close to be
And what I wanted to be
I wanted you baby
Oooooh Yeahh
I wanted you
I wanted, I wanted you

I wanted you to be there when I fall (I wanted you to be there, yeahhh)
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I love (Ooh ooh)
I wanted you, I wanted you (I wanted you oh)
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need (I wanted you to know me just how down deep yeah)
I wanted you to know just how down deep (I wanted you to know just how)
I wanted you, I wanted youI wanted youI..
I wanted you, I wanted you
[hugs&kisses]

~ends~

.i whine today, have u? .

Sunday, October 19, 2008

aiya,
hate life already lah!!
hate family,hate stupid sister the most!!
the stupid cry baby who only bring more problem to my life..
cant believe my family hates me...
i didnt even throw back he money to my mother then anyhow say me...
irritating you know!!
hate it lah!!
go call lah!!
go call my father lah!!
you think i care meh!!??
i only like charlton not her can?!i hate charlotte,my bro rules man!!
**** lah!!

sad...
yesterday was 2nd last lesson for catechism class.
then we finished a whole new module.
lol,like polytechnic like that.
then its all about tough times.
its like soooo related to my life.
then got a quiz then they ask who is what.
mine is I like to fight back.
lame.

then went home.
hate my mother,hate my family.
how i wish that i have a sister of my own blood...
how i wish i have a friend who i can trust & turn to at times...
how i wish he was here with me...


dont sad lah....
seeing you on tuesday,yes!!
sorry that we cant have a class t-shirt & gathering...
sorry!!
sorry that i nvr help you in ur weakest subject...
sorry....
though ur birthday is on thursday,i cant find anything to give you...
all i could give is: my promise that you & I will be in the same class & i will help you de...
I promise....
[loves&misses]


~ends~

.i whine today, have u? .

Friday, October 17, 2008

seriously,hate la!!
yesterday threw majong tiles,on wednesday throw wat?
chair ah?!
*** la....
hate it...

today,wat happen?
nothing,but i expected something.
& it did.knew it.
haha.
guess wat?
i TOPPED the class & level for literature!!
muhahahahaha.
lame.

actually during recess,
angry at sec1.
no damn respect at all!!
ppl got name de leii!call ppl "EH",then ask ppl move.
****!!!
then no mood,damn angry but somehow,i calmed down..
then maths,so boring.
then assembly,stupid skits.
diao...

then band,so boring.
hate playing the trombone.
so difficult but mr ong still dont want to let me transfer section.
....

after band,weitai wait for me.
i went to speak to mdm kong about some stuff.
then,weitai & i go run 1 round for fun.
lame lor.
then mdm kong come out scold us,INDIRECTLY.
lol.

go westmall,buy stuff.
then helped the NCC ppl.
then he sent me to the interchange then he go le.
thank you!!
lol.



message for someone back:
i noe its like that.
have you ever thought why or what?
do you have feelings?
i knew,i expected it to happen.
let it be done,let it be.
if thats for me,i understand.
i forgave & forgot,tats my job.
i noe,i accept the fact that we wont be friends forever.
you might say stuff & believe watever,
but,think before you speak & find out the facts before you believe.
i promise that watever happens,none of us should interfere with each others' life,
if you want,your choice,forget everything about each other is best.
but to warn you,even if everything goes back to normal,
i will not EVER treat you back as a friend & i hope you do the same.
that's whats best for all of us.
need not fight for anything,bet on stuff,etc.
all i can say is:
all the best for your future endeavours!
i wish you luck.




dont sad..
even though mdm kong dont allow,
i know you got the leadership qualities in you.
i know you do.
hack care him le...
he bully you,you ignore.
GOOD!
[loves&misses]


~ends~

.i whine today, have u? .

Thursday, October 16, 2008

i cant help but to just think of harming myself....
why..?why?
but i just cant....cant...
ever since she told me,i just,i just cant help but to think why....
my mood changed.
i just kept thinking non-stop,why?
why did it happened...?
i thought i could just rest after forgetting about the incident.
but no,more problems just keeps coming up...

seriously,
i just wished i could cut my veins & die on the spot or just jump down a 34-storey building,
but why cant i?
you know why i didnt?
cause i believe that watever good ive done in the past & now,i love it.
even though i maybe suffering now,taking in every single pain & sadness,i still have to take it.
its life,i must accept life & all its problems & obstacles.
i just cant help but to cry,cry out to myself,asking & beating myself,why,why all of these is happening?

i changed again,just to be a better person,a positive-thinking person,but what you've done is to make me think negative!
you think its fair for me?!
i fought for many ppl's justice,but all ive got is injustice!
you think its fair?!
suffer,suffer more is all that ive experienced.
cant i just close my eyes & leave the world?
wat you said really made my heart shatter.
it makes no sense.
fine,we shall be enemies.
& tats tat.

friends.
wats the use?
you know whats a real friend?
a real friends is one who gives you her ear for you to tell ur problems to.
a real friend is one who will encourage you regardless of your failures & supports you no matter what happens.
a real friends is one who walks into ur life when others walk out.

hey serika,
dont worry abt me now.
& its definitely not a suicide note.
we'll meet up one day & ill tell you everything.
the promise i made has not been broken & it nvr will.
trust.


know my overall results for art & mathematics le.
art overall is 69 & mathematics overall is 83.
im gonna take A Maths next year.


i cant believe you got lower than me...
sad....
no frets.
though ur bro did better than you,you must take A Math & show him that ur better than him.
you can do it!!
thank you for helping alot last year.
stopping ur brother from bullying me.
thank you.
[hugs&misses]

~ends~

.i whine today, have u? .

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

100 Question Quiz

1)What's the connection between you and the last person that called you?
Answer: Jessa-my bestie

2)Do you ever turn your cellphone off?
Answer: Nah,seldom.

3)What happened at 10.00am today?
Answer: Was eating.

4)When do you last cry?
Answer: quite a while ago..

5)What is your favourite thing to eat with peanut butter?
Answer: Bread?seldom eat peanut butter.

6)What do you want in your life right now?
Answer: Everyone to be happy.

7)Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put out your hood?
Answer: Of course carry an umbrella unless i forgot to bring.=X

8)What's your favourite thing to have on your bed?
Answer: My eeyore & handphone.

9)Which bottoms are you wearing now?
Answer:soccer shorts

10)What's the nicest text in your inbox says?
Answer: smart ar,you got the reason to escape.(ryan)

11)Do you tend to make a relationship complicated?
Answer: -.- Nah.

12)Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
Answer: I dont borrow clothes.unless I really really need it.

13)What's the last movie you watched?
Answer: Wall.E

14)What are you proud of?
Answer: Being a science & literature freako!!

15)What does the oldest text message in your inbox says?
Answer: "All choir members,2morrow we r singing 4 feast of St Alphonsus at 6.30pm.Hope u come.Thk n God Bless."(corrine)

16)What's the last song you sang out loud?
Answer: It''s Too Late To Apologize(during history today)

17)Do you have any nicknames?
Answer: Many.mostly,claud/crocodile/fishball(yu yuen)

18)What does your last received message says?
Answer: "Yea,you?"(waihian)

19)What time do you go to bed last night?
Answer: 11 plus plus

20)Are you currently happy?
Answer: physically yes,emotionally not...

21)Who gave you the best advise?
Answer: Seika,Waihian(illogical at times,mostly,very logical)

22)Who do u wish to be the closest friends with?
Answer: Present or past?

23)Who do you talk on the phone last night?
Answer: no one,i hate calls -.-

24)Is anything bugging you right now?
Answer: Your privacy invading questions,which are stupid.

25)What/Who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?
Answer: My dream

26)Do you wear toe socks?
Answer: puh-lease,NO.

27)Who was the last person you missed a call from?
Answer: My mum

28)Have you ever had your heart broken?
Answer: Yea

29)What annoys you most in a person?
Answer: ppl who like to look down on others

30)Do you have crush on somebody?
Answer: ...Have also wont say...

31)Have you ever tried cocaine?
Answer: You siao

32)What's the colour of your room?
Answer: light Orange

33)Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollar?
Answer: No. its a sin & a crime.

34)Which country do you wish to go to ?
Answer: France.

35)Who was the last person who lay on your bed?
Answer: Me,myself & I.

36)Who was the last person to hug you?
Answer: Easter-bestie

37)What do you want to say to the person?
Answer: Thanks for the hug

38)Do you have a life?
Answer: oui(yes),if not i wont be answering your questions now.

39)Have you ever think someone dead, when they really didn't?
Answer: Not yet.

40)What is the reason behind your profile song?
Answer: Its related to love

41)Who is the last person you saw in your dream?
Answer: My Band Major(saliyanti)

42)Last time you smiled?
Answer: 8hrs ago

43)Have you changed this year?
Answer: ALOT

44)What are you listening to right now?
Answer: It's over - Jesse Mccartney

45)Are you talking to someone when doing this?
Answer: Yes.

46)Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
Answer: Of course open,only retards walk with their eyes closed.

47)Is there a quote you live by?
Answer: Accept every thing that happens to you whether its good or bad.

48)Do you want someone you can't have?
Answer: Can I not answer your question?

49)Have you ever played an instrument?
Answer: Yes.Piano,ocarina,trombone,recorder,etc.

50)What is the worst idea you've had this week?
Answer: Telling this to Mdm Tion,"You are so ugly that when you looked into the mirror,the mirror cracked"

51)What were you doing last night at 11pm?
Answer: Msg-ing

52)Are you happy with your love life right now?
Answer: Not going to answer your question.

53)What song to describe your love life?
Answer: My First Love - Tynisha Keli

54)Does the person know you like him/her?
Answer: Dont Know

55)Who always make you laugh?
Answer: My friends or my stupidity.

56)Do you speak other language other than English?
Answer: Yes.Latin,Malay,French,Spanish,German,etc...(only speak proper in latin)

57)Are you blond?
Answer: No.

58)What's your middle name?
Answer: Lim

59)What are you doing tomorrow?
Answer: Go to school & try not to sleep.

60)What do you think you are like?
Answer: A highly responsible leader who hates ppl bullying others

61)Who will you choose to die with?
Answer: My love

62)Where have you been today?
Answer: no where

63)What game do you play often?
Answer: none.

64)Who are you missing right now?
Answer: My friends - besties & Him

65)If you're choosing between friends and love, which one would you choose?
Answer: Option C - Both!!

66)What are you doing now?
Answer: Doing this stupid quiz,chatting on msn.

67)What primary school are you from?
Answer: Marymount Convent School(mcs).

68)Name the three colour that you like.
Answer: Green,Orange,Black.

69)What emotions you like to show?
Answer: Humor.

70)What is life to you?
Answer: Stages of suffering & pain.will die without friends,love,music.

71)If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
Answer: Try to solve the problem unless i cant,then i will ask for help.

72)Who did you last chat in MSN today?
Answer: Michele,Alicia,Bryan,WeiLie,Jerry,Jeremy

73)Who do you admire the most?
Answer: People who did great things.

74)Which month are you born?
Answer: July

75)How are you feeling right now?
Answer: Bored.

76)What is the time now?
Answer: 1942hr(9.42pm)

77)Where are you now?
Answer: At home.

78)What colour do you use to dye your hair?
Answer: I dont plan to dye yet,but if i did,it'll be either red or green.

79)Why are you doing this test?
Answer: Im bored.im bored.im bored.

80)What do you do when you're moody?
Answer: Talk to my eeyore,break stuff.

81)Are you stupid?
Answer: If I am,i wouldn't be studying. -.-

82)Who is more important to you?
Answer: Family & Friends.

83)Do you think you have enough confidence?
Answer: Yes,but still can have more.

84)Who is the person you trust the most?
Answer: Best friends & some seniors in school.

85)Do you believe in seeing rainbow after rain?
Answer: Duh.

86)If you have a dream come true, what will it be?
Answer: All my friends be happy forever & find their true love.XD

87)What is your goal for this year?
Answer: Top 3 in class & take A/E Maths,make a bestie shirt with friends.

88)Do you believe in eternity love?
Answer: Yes.

89)Who do you love?
Answer: Someone

90)Do you really think it's global warming now?
Answer: Yes.

91)What do you hate the most?
Answer: Getting scolded by ppl for no reason.

92)If someone you love hurts you a lot, what would you do?
Answer: Forgive & forget.

93)Do you believe in god?
Answer: Of course,yes.Im a roman catholic.

94)Who do you care the most?
Answer: Everyone.

95)What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Answer: My friends.

96)What will you bring when you are in a fight?
Answer: Nothing,but faith.

97)What have you regretted doing in your whole life?
Answer: Being very naughty in primary school & mixing with ppl who only tell lies in secondary school

98)What would you feel when no one longer care about you?
Answer: Sad/depressed

99)What if your stead is two-timer?
Answer: Ask him who he love more?

100)Why are you living in this world?
Answer: Because im not not lining in this world.=x

stupid 100 Question.
bored so did it.

~ends~

.i whine today, have u? .

YES!!
got back 5 subjects the paper liao...
heh.
not surprised to fail chinese.=x
but was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo surprised to get soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo high & top for mathematics.
i beated jilin!!hahahahaha,only by 2 marks.not fun.
no challenge de...

anw,got back english & i think i was 5th??
so bad....from 2nd drop to 5th...saded...
nvm,still got overall.

then science........you know what......?
I TOPPED among the 3 classes with 83 marks!!
so happy!!double happiness.

then history,nearly cried.
cause i was the only single digit person for MCQ.
but my source-based & section C pulled my up to 47 marks.
need 3 more marks,some more MCQ got a few mistakes.

now left with art & literature.
betted that if nvr get above 75marks,will have to treat liyun,jilin & jingping ice-cream.
so waste money... -.-

anw,results,if you blur:

English(paper 1): dont know
English(paper 2): 42/60
Mathematics: 96/100 [paper 1-49.5/50][paper 2-46.5/50]
Chinese(paper 1):dont know,but was told that i flunk
Chinese(paper 2): 13/60
Science: 83/100
History: to be comfirmed [section C-19/25,section B-19/35]
Geography: 54.5/100
Liteature: to be comfirmed
Art: to be comfirmed

lol,bad rite?
btw,
I DIE DIE ALSO WONT TAKE GEOGRAPHY NEXT YEAR DE!!
lol.

jingping told me that after i beated jasmine in math,she kept quiet,nvr look down on me le.
looks like i won.
cause that time in home-economics,the kitchen,
she say,if i can get A1 for mathematics,she wil chop her head,
not only did i get A1,but also topped,
but she nvr chop leii..



cant believe you dropped...
but nvm,still got next year...
hope that we will be in the same class....
dont care if he look down on you also,
just ignore him.
[hugs&kisses]


~ends~

.i whine today, have u? .