fighting for oreos.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

really got alot of scoldings.
enough.
get alive man,get alive.
its my fault,i admit.

aunty madeline keeps telling me to know my objective-she set a goal for me-to pass all subjects at the end of the year.
uncle robert keeps telling me to ignore my classmates,they are making me dig my grave.
uncle nicolas,a lawyer,tells me that there are 2 types of ppl-good & bad.it depends on who i want to follow.(he spoke in a chimer english)

i really have no choice left.
its time for me to change,just start afresh,like wat michele said.
the story which alicia told me,was really a touching one.
what waihian said,was really true.
& weining,an open apology to you:
Im Sorry.

screwed life,screwed me.

~ends~

.i whine today, have u? .

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Meet-the-parents totally sucks.
Mr.Foo complained to my mum alot.
30mins.
& i was told to leave the class during the session.
knew it.
my list of offences,pile of bad records,got refered to mum.
damn thick..
whacked me for those.

went to find mrs loh to kill time whilst mr foo complained to mum.
all the teachers in the stuff room looked at me saying,"where's your parent?i want to complain.everytime give me relieve."
i simply smiled.they laughed.
walked around & went back.
then brought mum to see mrs loh.
mrs loh talked to her happily & related what happened yesterday.
got pissed.
whack me again.

mum then talked to cabbage.
cabbage complained alot.
got whack for the 3rd time.
walked down to meet up with sibs & ahma.
mum complained to ahma.
got a terrible dressing down from her.
had lunch & took 157 to church.
was late for class for 30mins.

played a stupid,not fun game.
ruined my mood more.
class finished & i passed jerome a letter.
my reply to his letter,2 paged.
went to find mum.
went to novena.
saw arvin after service.asked him to convince bro to join the altar servers ministry.
he did.

went to have dinner & went to ahgongs workplace.
then went to get stuff.
mum says im a total gangster.
anyways,im gonna sum up wat mr.foo said(as wat i heard).

She is straight forward.but sometimes it hurts others.
when she's nice,she can be real damn nice.but when she's not,she will be real damn not.
she is hot & bad-tempered,stubborn & defiant,self-centered.
she has bad attitude & behavior
she thinks she is right when she's not.
always arguing with others.
at times,she can be real quiet & at times,real noisy.
can have a good mood & bad mood suddenly.
mood swings always happen.
really aggresive.

screw it.
all the teachers agreed on this testimonial.
self-centered...am i?
maybe i am...
noisy...
maybe i should just shut up.

have finally come to a conclusion.
will not force happiness & laughter out of me anymore.
should just be my normal quiet self in class...
will not see me smile,will not hear me laugh.
whatever.
i got affected deeply.

problems rolling in again.
too many to handle.
i wish death was on my side.
screw it.
i want to die.

MOOD'S SCREWED.

~ends~

.i whine today, have u? .

29th may
Mood has been totally ruined by some teachers.
let me specify,A TEACHER.

Recieved a message from Pig that Miss Siew caused the class trouble all becaus eof my ****ing face.
great.
like come on,you're the one wasting my time you know.
it's not the right time to smile at me some more.
i'm already worn out with more work to do can?
fine.
my fault.
i'm sorry.

Mood totally went wrong after that.
it was physics.
when mrs peng entered the class,i merely said "huh,she going to teach again.."
I MERELY SAID THAT OKAY.
& yet,she scolded the class with that example whilst staring hard at me.
simply ignored her.
the point where my volcano nearly erupted.
i wanted to speak up for lia,but just controlled myself,
for i knew i would get into a heated argument between teacher & student.
so i just kept quiet.

it was then eugene suddenly asked about something or for something.
i got so irritated & just asked a rhetorical question "eugene,are you a retard?"
cheekiat replied my question by saying "he is already one"
i just giggled & reponded "you very bad".
i didnt knew mrs peng would stare at us.

10mins before the bell rang.
after talking to lia.
called me & cheekiat up.
scolded us.
like WHAT THE F***.
said that my heart's made of stone,attitude sucks,etc.
whatever yea?
because she doesnt know how it feels like to be insulted at,being called at.
i simple just defied whatever she said.
she ask,"do you like me calling you a retard" then "let me ask you.are you a retard?"
i simply answered,"yes,i admit i am a retard.everyone has their own retard points"
i would have really slapped her real hard if i could.

she continued scolding cheekiat then me.
bell rang & class was dissmissed for amaths/poa.
mrs loh was outside the classroom.
mrs peng went to complain about this matter to her.
i just kept quiet.

could not concentrate during amath.
even though i understood the inverse matrix,i still could not concentrate.
the recess bell rang & it was recess.
with only me & liyun behind,mrs loh spoke to me.
At least she scolded me in a nicer way ok?
i totally shook my head & nodded to her questions.
And she said,

"Why did you say that just now?Do you know that what you said could be very sensitive to others?You may think its funny,but eugene is a special ability student.he is irritating i know,but you must be sensitive towards others.You're a nice & sweet girl with good intentions,but what your weakness is is that sometime you always talk without thinking.From the way i see you arguing with your classmates,you may say its fun,friend-friend argument.But if you're really a friend,you would not argue back,even if they insult.Life is never nice.We have to give & take.If you ask this question in the future,you will get involved into a lot of trouble.You say others insult what.but others insult,must you follow them?If you see someone smoking or taking drugs,must you follow them?Its all on the brain,you must think.You try scolding someone a vulgarity.If they want to blow up the matter,they can report you to the police & you'll end up in the wrong side.So please be sensitive.Have i not told you many times to think before you talk?You're a girl you know."

i told her other stuff & if was lucky that i didnt got detention.
the conversation was just an extract.
it lasted about 10mins.
so in total,20mins of scolding.

But i will listen to mrs loh.
not mrs peng or mr foo.

coming to mr foo.
he DIRECTLY insulted me in an indirect manner.
fine,whatever ya?
scolded for another 10mins.
so total time taken=30mins.

MOOD SPOILERS.

Had band & forgot to bring band t-shirt.
went to westmall after band but just walked away from Pig & ch.
really sorry.
i couldnt concentrate in band too.
just worried about many things...

Meet the parents is up later.
so i'd better start resting now.
hopefully i will be able to wake up on time.
Screw everyone.

Friends are people who stick to you when you dont need help & leave you when you do.
But,
True/Best/Close friends are people who stick with you through thick & thin,through your sorrow & miseries.

i wonder where are they now...

~Adios~

.i whine today, have u? .

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Happy Birthday to Aloysius!!
Happy Belated Birthday Wishes to Vienna!!

had celebration in class.
celebrated the 2 peeps birthday.
not really a celebration,just cake,song & home.
walked with vanessa d.
really had a hard time with amanda L.
-.-

Jerome looks like E.T.!!!
OMG@@@
HE IS ABCDEFG CUTE!!

okays,enough praising.
went home.
slacked.
played audition.
really bored on saturdays.

toilet didnt go for class today.-.-

~Adios~

.i whine today, have u? .

Thursday, May 21, 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WAIHIAN the penguin!!!
doesnt mean you're 16,you can watch NC16 movies ah!!
lol.
joking.

anyways,
got back most of the papers.
English-46/80 ;1st in class
Chemistry-not "A"
Physics-not "A"
Chinese-29/60(paper2),14/20(paper3);
paper2- I NEARLY PASSED!!!i failed by a mark...=(
Social Studies-29/50 ;not "A"
History-35/50 ;2nd in class

still got double math to go.
hopefully can get it back by tmr.
i didnt expect to pass physics,ss & history.
i expected to fail.
but it proved me wrong.
haha.=D
cool.
i didnt get an "A" though.
but overall,i hope that i will.

history next.
it was before recess.
as usual,i tried getting marks for someone.
i managed to bug mr.bambang to give someone a mark.
hopefully overall someone will pass.

recess.
boring thing.
as usual,staircase.
dongyao,stanley,samuel was there,making so much noise.
rachel could not take them,i could not do anything.
so i kept quiet.
also,name was called out & i collected my IC.
lol.

moving on to chinese.
mdm toh gave us our listening comprehension first.
i passed.
then she gave us back our paper2.
i flunk it.
by just a mark.A MARK!!
i bugged her to give me a mark for paper2,but she was the marker & she didnt wanted to.
ignored her.
didnt do corrections except for only one blank question.
& since she didnt want to give me a mark. ._.
lesson ended with me laughing because of the way the china kid pronounced her name.
lol.

i talked to mdm toh about my overall,my paper1.
she said she looked at my paper1 & it was actually not bad,also another borderline fail.
overall she said,i might fail,but it all still depends on my oral.
oral...screw it.
i hope i pass chinese this time round.

Sorry Alicia Pig,I failed Chinese..=(
but i will keep trying!
like what you said,determination.

E Math was slacking.
read garfield comics & just started giggling to myself.
lol.

home sucks as usual.

~Au Revior~

.i whine today, have u? .

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

everyday's a horrible day.
unlucky,unhappy.
fished up.

gonna blog in french,dont understand,go find a translator yourself.

je me demande pourquoi des déchirures gardent coulent juste & il l'arrêt de coutume. de tous les jours, je pleurerais juste, pour les raisons que j'ai mis même sait.je demande pourquoi.j'essaie de contrôler mes émotions, mais quelquefois je perds juste il.indépendamment de que je fais, je dois garder juste forcer m'à sourire & rit quelqu'un devinerait même que je truque ? non. personne boîte.je parce que tout le monde est a centré automatiquement dans leur propre mes opinions, mes pensées, relâchent un peu, mais personne apprécie.j'ai gardé demander me pourquoi whould je veux même juste garder les gens d'essayer et marque heureux & rire.mais que la réponse garde juste venir de mon coeur.je ne sait pas toujours pourquoi

whatever i do is wrong,whatever i dont do is also wrong.
so what do i have to do?
die?overdose of panadols?slash?
i dont know.

here's a quote from The Ramen Girl:
"Put your tears into the broth"
which means,
"Put your feelings & emotions in whatever you do"

~Adiós~

.i whine today, have u? .

Saturday, May 16, 2009

This is craps.
Aint knowing why im so...so hot-tempered,sluggish,sloppish.
im weird i admit.
but...
nevermind.
forget it.
i shall just take a step back & reflect.
reflect on me,my surroundings.
im just a useless freak,an idiotic one.
sorry for everything,though.

Not Fit To Be Anyone's Friend

will not talk to anyone from now onwards.
unless they talk to me.
ps:im not being emo

-desole pour tout suis une sans coeur person.desole pour vexer vous peupler.
(its in french)

.i whine today, have u? .

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Not really in the mood to update.
but,ive to say something:

WANT TO IGNORE ME?
FUCK OFF!
I WONT ENTERTAIN YOU.

thanks to my dogs who really cheered me up today.
-appreciate what you have before its too late.

~Adios~

.i whine today, have u? .

Sunday, May 10, 2009

I sometimes wonder why my life is messed up.,
when others are happy with what & who they are.
I sometimes wonder why my life is screwed,
when others are having a peaceful life out there,enjoying every moment.
I wonder why...

Totally Screwed...
Everything has just taken a down turn..
all my problems seem to get bigger & not shrinking at all.
what a ****ed up life im having.
wow.
too many problems on my mind,during MYE.
Screw this shit.
why?
i dont know.
Everything's gone wrong.
no one shall know my feelings or emotions.
i should just remain a mystery...

Let me be my mysterious self..

~Au Revior~

.i whine today, have u? .

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Im sorry for whatever ive done or said.
sorry for not being there.
sorry for many things that are not published.
after reading your blog,i feel remourseful.
im a failure.
i cant even cheer you up.
i dont know why im even called your friend.

i dont know why i have friend.
for a heartless person like me,should not have friends.
i dont know how to react,i dont know what to say.
im just...a robot.
someone who just think of myself..
sorry....

maybe i should just quieten down & be my mysterious self..
maybe that'll help..
im really sorry for not cheering you up.

~ends~

had a heart to heart talk with azura.
finally,i knew how she was feeling & we shared our stuff,
experiencing the same thing thats happening,especially when her birthday is near.

im just a failure.

~double ends~

.i whine today, have u? .

A story written by me.Title given by Alicia Pig~

2)Everything's Over

I am Marlina, A.K.A, Marl.
Born on 18th February 1998,in Chile,Santiago.
I was being brought up in a spanish-speaking family,where money was a problem.
My family was poor.
We hardly had proper food to eat.
My dad used up most of his savings to send me to school.
I was the oldest child & i received the better treatment,as compared to my siblings.
I was sent to Santiago's National School to study & i worked very hard to be graduated & enter college.
Since Santiago had no college,& since i was the top five students in the state,
I received a scholoarship to study in the states.

Dad didnt consent to me living in the states alone,but after mum persuaded him,he relented.
A week before i left,mum kneaded woolen sweaters & sewed some clothes for me.
I cried & told her that everything will be fine.
Dad worked very hard for that one week,to get extra pay.
On my last day in Santiago,
Dad gave me all his money,his remaining savings & a letter that he had written,with the address & number.
I assured my family that I would be alright in the states & that meeting new friends would not be a problem.
Those words I regreted saying,as they saw me off the plane...

The plane landed at 1638hrs,according to the U.S. time.
I made my way to the terminal to retrieve my luggages.
My eyes widened & jaws dropped,as I wow-ed at the beautiful ornaments that was hung high up in the airport.
As I walked further,I could not help but to take pictures of them.
Reaching the taxi stand,i halted a cab & instructed the taxi driver to go to SantaRica Hotel.
Since I am not so fluent in english,the driver hardly understood,but i showed him the map & he made the way there.

Reaching SantaRica Hotel,i checked into a room & unpacked my belongings.
Decided to have a rest as there was school the next day.

First Day Of School.
Woke up at 0630hrs to bathe & get changed for school.
Took the bus to school but it seemed to have gone the wrong way.
Immediately got off & asked for directions.
A kind soul actually drove me to school.

Upon reaching school,
I nervously walked up the steps that lead to the principal's office.
My hand shivered as I brought my hand closer to the door knob,
but i screamed when the door opened & heaved a sigh of relive when it was the princpal himself.
He brought me to my new class & handed my a time-table sheet.
"okay class,we have a new student today.Name's Marlina."
"Ohmygod,she is ****ing disgusting!" I heard someone say.
I nearly cried as the principal told the student off.
The teacher was friendly & asked me to introduce myself to the class.
After some introduction,she asked me to sit beside Jasmine,a typical but hyped up student.
She was my buddy 'till I got to know the school better.

After school,
Jasmine brought me around.
Around school,mall & her home.
Her mum was friendly & asked me to stay over for dinner.
I humbly accepted the invitation.

As time passed,I got to know Jasmine more.
And before we knew it,we were the best of friends.
It was not until one day,my heart fell for a guy named Micheal.
He was handsome,sweet,crazy & the hottest guy in school.
Soon,I found myself falling in love with him.

Jasmine noticed some changes & I confessed that I had liked him.
Unknowingly,she had liked him too!
I didnt want matter to get worse but everything was over when she said,"I hate you.Leave me alone."
I didnt know what to do.
My best of friend,cut off ties with me over a guy!!
What A nuisance!

A year passed & we got into the second year of college,which means we got to choose the subjects we wanted to take.
I opted to take English,Higher Mathematics,Astronomy,Reactive Science,Literature,World studies.
I did not know that Micheal had opted the same subjects as me!!
I was over the moon.
I thought that Jasmine would forget about everything but to my displeasure,she still liked him.
Micheal got to know me better & we became good friends.
Jasmine got jealous & tried means & ways to snatch him to her side,but to no avail.

Four months passed & everyone thought that Micheal & I was engaged in a relationship.
But no,we werent.
It was not until a night,where the stars shined so brightly,
he asked me on a date & proposed to me with a box which contained a ring.
I accepted his proposal & we were the most romantic couple in school after that day.
We were together even after we graduated from college & moved on to work.
He worked in Chicago while I worked in NewYork.
Three years passed & we were still dating,until...

Until Jasmine decided to have her revenge on me,for she thought I had taken her beloved away.
She planned a murder,which was to be blamed on me.
She hired professionals to kill Micheal.
The evidence they left behind,was all linked to me.
I was arrested.
Was found guilty,even though I told the truth,& was sentenced to a year imprison.
Revenge was indeed sweet,as I saw her laugh while I was escorted to the dungeon.

Life in prison was terrible.
The food was scarce,the conditions was bad.
I cried to myself every night,as I mourn the death of my sweet boyfriend,Micheal.
A year passed,& I was released.
I found the company I used to work at but when I went there,they looked down on me & ignored me.
I called my friends for help,but everyone rejected my call.
Death awaited me.

As days passed,no help arrived,no one called.
I decided,there was only one way out.
DEATH.
I went to the roof of th 48-storey building.
& before I jump,
I want to tell you mum & dad,that i love you,
& everything's over for me.

Whoever shall find this letter,please send it back to this address:
Chile,Santiago
48 Pellinto Street,3652
Mr & Mrs Chezvo

Love,
Marlina

"Mr & Mrs Chezvo?A letter for you.Please sign here."

After reading the letter,
Mr & Mrs Chezvo was at a loss of words.
they could do nothing,now that their oldest child was dead.
& all Mr Chezvo sighed was,"My Everything's Gone"

~The End~

will write & publish another story tomorrow,if im free.
as for now,please give your comments about this story.

.i whine today, have u? .

Thursday, May 7, 2009

That's it!
I've had enough of everyone's nonsence.
Has anyone spared a thought for me?
NO.
You people happily insult me & find fault with me,
you expect me to just accept your insults & live in hurt?
you expect me to just let you scold me?
NO.
You people are just selfish.simple selfish.
You dont care about what others think or feel.
You only care about yourself.

therefore,i conclude that i will not talk to anyone in class except for liyun,my row.
(about others,as per normal,ppl like Alicia,Waihian,Lijing,Weining,etc etc.)
since no one appreciates,what should i talk to them?
why should i force myself to be happy & laugh?
i should just start to be myself,
my quiet self,
so that i will remain a mystery.

I accepted & carried the cross that God placed on me.
But it was heavy & it dropped.
I tried many ways to carry it back.
But God helped me.

Panda's are emotional & quiet animals.

~Au Revoir~

.i whine today, have u? .