Sunday, February 8, 2009
All the while,i depended on others or i fell down in life.
Here is a story of how my secondary school life is:
After graduating from school & entering into secondary education life,
i felt nervous about everything,especially now that there's boys around the class.
Being from a single-gendered school makes me feel alot happier & that i have more freedom,
but now,its totally the opposite.
On the first day of school,
i thoughtthat the guys would probably bully me for the utmost reasons,
but woah,they didnt.
As each day passes,the guys grew naughtier & naughtier.
I was terrified by them,almost.
At once,they would snatch away the girls' mobile phone & run to the gents to read the messages.
looks like they have not grown up?
okay,i did my part in helping by trying to get the phone back.
well,sometimes they did,sometimes they didnt.
Next,they took our pencil cases & plays "Monkey" with it.
practically,the girl becomes the "monkey".& they keep throwing to each other until the pencil case keeps dropping & the stationery inside it is spoiled.
Then,they snatch away "letters" that was sent by other guys/girls to a girl.
how rude!
I was one who could not tolerate bullying girls situations.
complained to the Discipline Head but nothing was done,i went on t complain to my mother who email-ed a letter to the school & only then did they take actions against these situations.
[skip sec2]
Now,in year3,
everything's changed.people,classmates,teachers,subject combinations.
& of course,me,becoming a more depressed & stressed up person after taking double up math.
Friendships with others turned for the worse,& i was affected even before it happened.
In three years,to say,
i became a over-sensitive person.
oh yes,going back to the point.
I was affected even before the friendships turned sour.
Every little thing i did or i did not do,i was affected by it.
As time passed,i fell deeper into depression.i started thinking about how long death was awaiting me.
Everything that i could think of negatively,came to my mind like a maglev train.
Smoking,taking an overdose of panadol/unprescribe medicine,slashing/cutting myself,banging my head hard against the wall.
I always thought of death & negative influence stuffs,when im all alone,when i am depressed or stressed.
I started off slashing myself deeply.when i saw my blood gushing out like a river,i felt at ease.
then i felt that it wasnt enough,i started banging my head against the wall until there was blood.
even so,i still could not calm myself down.
i took an overdose of antibiotics,which caused me to be addicted to it.
It was then i met a friend.
such a nice person to say,really.
She talked like it was no ones' business & cared more than anything else in the world.
i felt elated.
i told her about my situation & she said a sentence which forced me to stop everything.
i tried,i did,but not until one day,
i was overly-depressed & just took the penknife & started slashing again.
Being remourseful of breaking that promise which i had made,
i gave in & admitted my mistake.
surprisingly,she forgave & made me promise her one last time.
i accepted that offer.
But since that day,i had a hard time trying to forget all the negative ways,negative stuffs.
I really wanted to commit suicide,after forcing myself to stop everything.
I had the thought of death until one day...
I went to the high-rise building & sat at the tip of the roof,wanting to jump off any minute.
But then,God appeared & talked to me about my life.
He took me into heaven to show me my past.I couldnt help but to cry.
We spent 5 hours there & he sent me back to earth.
It was then i realised that my special friend was someone who i needed to thank most for everything.
Rushing to her house,i thought about how to thank her.
i had even thought of asking her to be my best friend.
Reaching her doorstep,i cleared my throat & pressed the doorbell,
i couldnt wait to see her again.
Hearing footsteps shuffling towards the door,
i dsperately waited for it to be open.
The doorknob turned.
Sweat trickled down my neck.
the door swung open,it was her.
I immediately hugged & thanked her for everything & i asked her the question that i wanted to ask.
She agreed.
'Till now,we've been best of friends,unseperatable.
& for whatever good that had always happened in life,its her that i have to thank for.
That was one of the stories that i thought of.
not really think,but just thought of the title & i just type out whatever that comes to my mind.
had Con3B class BBQ at Victoria's condominium BBQ pit.
really had fun,but before that,was quite emo because of homework.
blah blah blah~
i went home earlier & michele told me that the guys threw vienna down the pool.
haha.
skipped church today,i was at most tired.
did homework & later on for some ironing of clothes.
~ends~
.i whine today, have u? .
THAT GIRL.
` C.laudia S.L.Y.X
` 16;22nd July
` Green FREAK
` Lame,Crazy,Hyper & Fun around
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` Have piano lessons
` New handphone
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` Looney Tunes stuff toy
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