Monday, November 10, 2008
My Life Story
I really could not take it,but to just write them in my diary.
more heart-breaking events just keep happening.
When i was born,my mum passed away while giving birth to me.
i was not even told abt it until i was 5.
I was not so smart but after i was told about it,i acted normal,
surprised by my family.
Losing my biological sister at the age of 7 made it worse.
I suffered from breakdown & my studies were affected.
I got retained for 2 years in primary 2,
which made me a laughing stock,but i ignored.
When i turned 9,
my grandmother passed away due to an heart attck.
Even at her bedside,she struggles for survival,but it was not her choice after all,
she closed her eyes at midnight.
It was another heart shattering event as she was closer to me.
i cried non-stop for days & my studies were severly affected,
but i managed to get though by half a mark.
it was by luck,i suppose.
When i was 12,at the stroke of midnight,my 12th birthday,
my grandfather fainted due to a sudden asthma attack.
We prayed hard but i prayed harder.
Our prays were not answered,
& another of my beloved ones was gone.
It happened before the all Primary School Leaving Examination,also known as,PSLE.
I broke even more.
Days before the examinations,i was told that if i did not do well,i would retained.
but i argued back saying,"If grandma did not left,i would have listened."
They were stunned,& i just barged into my room with tears.
everyone just continued with their life.
i kept on crying,when suddenly,my grandmother appeared,
"Please go & study.do well.im with you always."
I thought i was dreaming but after slapping myself,i knew i wasnt.
I studied hard like a mad dog but i didnt care.
when the results came out,i was top in the cohort & it got me into a special-streamed school.
When i was in secondary 1,
another diaster came.my father suffered from lung cancer & dropped dead onto the floor after having his last puff.
It was another great blow,i just regretted alot of things.
I was left with my uncle,my siblings & my aunt.
staying with them was a nightmare.No,it was worse than that.
I had to squeeze into the room & was their maid.
Life was difficult,a living hell.
But it was soon over when my uncle's family died in a car accident.
i was 20 years then,but 6 years of hell was enough for me.
i was relieved but sad at the same time.
the last of my kin,was...was...gone...
Heart ached,i went to the last storey of the building,
waiting for the right time to die.
I jumped & i went flying down.
in my mind,i thought: its over Val,its over.You'll be free now.
As i flew from the top of the building down,
i thought about my experiences,my emotions.
then i realised,dying wasnt worth it.
i regretted.i panicked,but it was too late.
I thought i would die from this 40-storey nightmare.
but darkness soon clouded my mind...
"Miss Valerie,Miss Valerie,are you alright?"
I slowly opened my eyes to see people with white masks surrounding me.
i nodded my head & they told me what had happened.
they said i was lucky that i survived as 1 in 1000 people would survive from this suicide.
I smiled weakly,i knew i had pulled through the ordeal.
back!!
boring.
hate it.managed to smuggle back chewing gums,bubble gums,etc.
bought some antique stuff but really hate my stay there.
stayed at a 5-star hotel & it really sucks staying with my aunt,she doesnt like noise & she keeps talking about facial.-.-
more like a maid,ive been not paid to look after my siblings,the most irritating ones on earth.
went for the wedding & everyone says it was hot,but i still wore a jacket out & everyone was like,"you from which country?"
ignored them.
didnt really enjoyed...
no fun,no laughter,no peace,more like a babysitter.
a jailed person i was,but i still bought stuff under the tax of my grandparents.
no choice still.
i hate travelling now even though im an enthusiastic person.
today,
hate it man!!
woke up at 6am,but was damn tired lah.
went for councillor stuff,was like...
dunnoe how to say lah.
just that we had loads of teamwork & laughter.
not gonna say le...
message to Alicia:
thanks loads!talking to you definetly made me feel better.
was not in the mood but after a while,was laughing like a mad horse!
haha.
remember to smile always!
yup,some mathematical equations for you:
Alicia= pig + bear = Hairy Pig
Alicia= Pig + Exploded House + Apple = Roasted Pig
Alicia= Bear + White = Polar Bear
Alicia= Pig + Human = "Barbie" Girl
HAHA!!NO OFFENCE!
recently no mood to talk.
sudden feeling of death,anger,sadness...
i really cant stop myself,for some UNKNOWN reasons..
which i really dont know.
past events keep flashing across my mind & my heart just keeps breaking.
each time it breaks,it gets back together & breaks again.
the pain i experienced...keeps repeating over & over again.
tears keep dropping,heart keeps breaking...
no other choice except to accept it...
watching "Lord Of The Rings" made me wonder.
which of my friends are Sam & who are Frudo...
i noe that i am stubborn,stupid,immature,brainless,negative,asshole,etc.
just like Frudo,exactly like him.
i wonder...who will keep friendships 'till the end of time & who will not.
i shall see.
~ends~
Labels: message to people, my feelings, short story
.i whine today, have u? .
THAT GIRL.
` C.laudia S.L.Y.X
` 16;22nd July
` Green FREAK
` Lame,Crazy,Hyper & Fun around
` Friends before anything
` Panda's are loved
Dont judge me without knowing me
CRAVES.
` Green Crumpler bag
` Pass chinese
` Save $200 by July
` Better videoing skills
` Panda stuff toys
` A new green badminton racquet
` Have a stronger voice
` Finish learning guitar
` Have piano lessons
` New handphone
` Promote to sec5NA/Higher Nitec
` Make new friends
` Looney Tunes stuff toy
SCREAMS.
EXITS.
New Blog
Alicia
Caryn
Chee Tat
Conan
Denise
Felicia
JingPing
LiJing
LiYun
Lisa
Michele
Nadiah
Serika
ShiQi
Shermane
Steffany
Vengyan
WaiHian
WeiJien
WeiNing
Wings
Zhenyu
Valued entertainment
MEMORIES.
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
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November 2009
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September 2010
MUZIK.
CREDITS!