Sunday, September 14, 2008
everyday go home also sad.
my life filled with anger,hatred because of my family,school,things.
i just hate life.
i wish i could die,so that everyone will be happy.
without me,since im a burden to everyone...
yesterday,
ate dinner at 12 midnight.
then couldnt wake up today morning to go to church.
but was forced.
didnt go for practice,but went home to sleep & do hw.
then just a few minutes ago,
my uncle went to move my stuff without permission.
then i was so fed up that i scolded him.
in fit of anger,
he threw my trombone.
fuck,
i started crying as he said these words,
"This is my house,you listen to me.is not ur choice but mine.you listen to what i say not i listen to you."
nah bei.
THROW MY TROMBONE THEN STILL WAN TO SCOLD ME!!CHEE BYE.
FUCK LA.
HACK CARE LE LA!!
DONT WANT GO HOME FOREVER LA.
really so damned pissed off & angry.
life so meaningless.
live life also no use,might as well die rite?!!
fuck la.
i just wish that i could die now immediately.
but why is my conscience stopping me?
can someone tell me?
i could just slash myself to death or boom into my brains.
i could just run & jump out into the open window.
i could just bring a choppen across my neck.
but why is my conscience stopping me?
its like its telling me something.
something that really makes me wonder.
its like its telling me this:
dont.dont do it.you still have to continue life.
even if the whole world goes against you,just dont do it.
god can take away everything from you from your life.
but remember,its your being that he cant take away,for it is your being that he gave you.
he can take away your friends,your closest friends,your family members,but he WILL NEVER take away the being that he gave you.
even if you're alone,lonely,just remember that you're not alone,for there's someone who watches over you & helps you through your obstacles.have _____.
learn from your life now,use it to help your future.
no matter what happens,you are still you,& forever will be you.
accept life from now onwards & live life.accept all the obstacles that come your way.
accept all the lies that your friends tell.accept all the punishment your teacher gives you for nothing.
accept the fact that you are who you are,& nothing can change you.
___________________________ tomorrow.(i will not disclose this sentence)
when everyday is filled with suffering?
anger,hatred & jealousy fill us everyday,
oh,i wish that the world is perfect & i wish it today.
why cant we fill ourselves with love & kindness?
& of course with happiness.
but our lives are a misery,imperfected.
why......?
nah,i think wat it told me makes sense.
im gonna live life again from today.
whats the love between us?
is it agape love?
is it philos love?
or is it eros love?
i dont know.
im just going to keep quiet & not say anything until the time is ripe.
like in the stories,tell them before its too late.
maybe?
dont know also.
i wont forget you but still EGO TE AMO,ILY.
~ends~
.i whine today, have u? .
THAT GIRL.
` C.laudia S.L.Y.X
` 16;22nd July
` Green FREAK
` Lame,Crazy,Hyper & Fun around
` Friends before anything
` Panda's are loved
Dont judge me without knowing me
CRAVES.
` Green Crumpler bag
` Pass chinese
` Save $200 by July
` Better videoing skills
` Panda stuff toys
` A new green badminton racquet
` Have a stronger voice
` Finish learning guitar
` Have piano lessons
` New handphone
` Promote to sec5NA/Higher Nitec
` Make new friends
` Looney Tunes stuff toy
SCREAMS.
EXITS.
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Conan
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Serika
ShiQi
Shermane
Steffany
Vengyan
WaiHian
WeiJien
WeiNing
Wings
Zhenyu
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MEMORIES.
October 2008
November 2008
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April 2009
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MUZIK.
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