i miss updating my blog now.
but i still try to update often...

Even though,i misunderstood God for like everything happening in a week,in the end,i still thank him.
He made me live without music,he knew i was too into music.
then He made all my friendships in a mess,so that i could concentrate more.
then He made my laptop break down,knowing that i was too focused on lapotop that time.
then He made my wallet lost,he knew i was un appreciative.

i was angry,but something,somehow,made me cool & think of it the positive way.
then,i thanked him.
He is God,
He knows His children well.we are His children,He is our Father.


im in a great sense of loss now.
i seriously do not know what to do.
more like i lost my sense of feelings,brains aint working.
whats wrong with me?!?!
im happy & angry at the same time.
i just refuse to update my emotions here.
if you all know about it,the whole world would topple.
no one understands me at all,yet why am i still here?
i could just run & jump off,yet why the hell am i still here?
please lah,if you dont understand how i feel,then dont understand lor!!
for all i can say is,
I GIVE UP!!I WASH MY HANDS!

miss you...
but recently,we're so cold to each other.
is it because of exams?
all the best,do better than your brother leii.
make him feel that he's stupid,since he always bully you.
hugs&misses;loves&kisses

~ends~

MY LAPTOP'S SPOILED!!

finally got hold of my uncles laptop.
brief update.

life seriously sucks now.
EOY here already.
teachers naggin,chasing.
my sucidal thoughts.
ETC!!

dunnoe when will my laptop be repaired.
sianz.
bored.
just die faster would i?
watever~~

CRYING,MORE CRYING & EVEN MORE CRYING.

~ends~

grateful thanks to Azura for sharing stuff with me.
i understand.its a hole that can nvr be mended.
a feeling that cannot be cleared.
thanks for the sharing time.
we now understand each other fully.
if you want,you can just come to my staircase & talk.(E2)

grateful thanks to Jessica for telling me about god's works & plans.
thanks for telling me this:
"believe that, God always planned for you to have brighter, happy memories
and trust in him
i know it's not easy coping with friendship problems
because they really really are emotional rollercoaster rides
but you need to be strong, and look on the bright side"
i will try to jessica.


i dont care what you do,as long as you are happy,its fine.
if you hate me,please tell me.
if you dont,tell me too.
if you think im not fit to be your friend,tell me.
if you think i am,tell me.

~ends~

what's wrong with you people?
what wrong have i done?
is it wrong to be curious?
what wrong have i done to deserve this punishment?
what?!
:'(

i hope life gets easier but it just gets harder...
why?
if you want me to die faster than say so!
i will just commit sucide.
I GOT NOTHING TO SAY ALREADY!!


i wish you're with me.
so that i could pour all my sorrows.
i wish you could be with me.
i wish....

~ends~

who can i turn to?
who can i pour out all my feelings to?
who would want to listen?
no one but me.
who is willing to lend me your shoulder?
who is willing to lend me your ear?
no one but myself.

where's the justice?
where's the proof?
why is it that I'm always being blamed for no reason?
why is it that I'm bullied?
why is it that no one,not a single soul understands my life & feelings?
why?

i just hate living here.
here in this world.
this pathetic world full of injustice.
no one wants to take action.
& even if they do,all would be corrupted.

why?
why is this world full of hatred & injustice?
why?
why is this like that?
im just a normal human.not god.
please someone,lend me your ear.


i cry whenever i think about it.
i just dont know why.
i just cry to sleep everyday.
i dont know why.
my heart ache with deep pain.
serika,if you are reading this,you would probably understand how i felt all the while.


everytime i pass little guilin or a river,
i just feel like jumping down.
no use living also.
whats wrong with this world?
i just dont know.


~ends~

seriously,
1 more thing about maple in front of me & i wont talk to you.
F.

no mood from chinese lesson onwards.
then have.
the so called "math test"...
failed....
-.-

mdm kong agreed to let me help choir in SYF but she said i must take care of my studies too.
then went to practice.
played latin gold,pirates of the carribean,shenandoah & tribal quest.
then play until so relax.
went home with jamie & mun leng.
-.-
bro got into fight again.
exams coming in a week.
worried that i might not be able to get top 10.

if you think i lie,go ahead.
i wont break the religions commandments & lie.
i noe my classmates hates you but still i dont.
i will nvr lie.i dont even.
i have no say.
its ur choice.

even if your brother bullys you,
i dont care.
you're one of the nicest guy ive met.
jys.


~ends~

just a msg:

miss you....
today play was bad but you tried...
jy barh!!
i still feel embarrassed when i talk to you...a feeling i cannot express...
all the best...!!
hugs&kisses;loves&misses


~ends~

really got so fed today.
sick & tired of people lying to me le.
sick & tired of people who badmouth my friends le.
went home with a headache & black face.
ah ma asked wat happened.kept quiet.
then she kept asking if i got fight with ppl or not.its like she can read me A-Z.
not gonna talk about home.but i spent time writing a poem.

This is the poem i wrote for 6 special people.6 of you,i want to thank you for everything.
(i hope you know who you 6 are)
THANK YOU!
here's the poem:

I'm not sure where to begin or where to start.
All I really know is that this poem's from my heart.
This may sound confusing-it is for me too.
But I'm ready to begin this poem to you.

A tortuous winding path-life is a confusing place to be.
I want to get away from this stress & find the real me.
Why can't I be happier? Today's a brand-new day...
Yet I have thoughts and memories that don't go away.

I think of my life,and that my problems aren't so bad
But for some unknown reason I still feel kind of sad.
It's tough being a preteen,soetimes it's just a scare
I wish I had some answers.Life isn't always fair.

Sometimes I'm just really lost & don't know what to do.
I wonder where to go & who I can talk to.
No one really knows which thoughts I choose to share,
But even if I told them,they probably wouldn't care.

Sometimes I want to say,"Thanks for all thet you've done,
"But the words fly from my head as quickly as they came.
I don't know how to talk to you,tell you how i feel
Now & then it's so complex.Life sometimes is surreal.

You may not always see me when I stumble,trip & fall
When tears are in my eyes & there's no one to call.
You may not hear me when I cry in bed at night
Hoping that my worries will somehow be put right.

You may not always like or love me when we just don't get along
I may screw up when I just won't admit I was wrong.
I'm sharing with you because I know that you really care
The friend you are to me is special,precious & rare.

Sometimes I might act joyful to camouflage my fears
But deep down inside,I want to burst right into tears.
All I need sometimes when my heart just wants to break
Is your smile & a hug.That's what I can't fake.

I need you,my friend,to take my hand & try
To help me mend my broken heart & be there when I cry.
I want you to be with me & walk with me on this road
To step along beside me & help me with this heavy load.

I want you to feel free-I hope I don't ask too much
Just be there when I need you,& offer me your touch.
Some people are ashamed to cry,but I am not afraid
For crying is the way that I let out all my pain.

A friend walks in when all other walk out.
You knocked on the door when I was full of doubt.
You are an angel.You've helped me do what's right,
When I had no eyes,you saved me-you were my sight.

You helped me through,without you,where would I be?
A blessing & a treasure is what you are to me.
You are a great person with good advice to lend
I just want you to know that you are a wonderful friend.

Have I changed you?You have changed me a great deal
You've let me be who I am & tell you how I feel.
The best thing ever was finding a friend just like you
Who listens & talks to me,you make each day seem new.

I hope you like this poem...like I said from the start.This poem was written for you,from deep inside my heart.

~ends~

why is life so hard for me?
everyday go home also sad.
my life filled with anger,hatred because of my family,school,things.
i just hate life.
i wish i could die,so that everyone will be happy.
without me,since im a burden to everyone...

yesterday,
ate dinner at 12 midnight.
then couldnt wake up today morning to go to church.
but was forced.
didnt go for practice,but went home to sleep & do hw.

then just a few minutes ago,
my uncle went to move my stuff without permission.
then i was so fed up that i scolded him.
in fit of anger,
he threw my trombone.
fuck,
i started crying as he said these words,
"This is my house,you listen to me.is not ur choice but mine.you listen to what i say not i listen to you."
nah bei.
THROW MY TROMBONE THEN STILL WAN TO SCOLD ME!!CHEE BYE.
FUCK LA.
HACK CARE LE LA!!
DONT WANT GO HOME FOREVER LA.

really so damned pissed off & angry.
life so meaningless.
live life also no use,might as well die rite?!!
fuck la.
i just wish that i could die now immediately.
but why is my conscience stopping me?
can someone tell me?

i could just slash myself to death or boom into my brains.
i could just run & jump out into the open window.
i could just bring a choppen across my neck.
but why is my conscience stopping me?

its like its telling me something.
something that really makes me wonder.
its like its telling me this:
dont.dont do it.you still have to continue life.
even if the whole world goes against you,just dont do it.
god can take away everything from you from your life.
but remember,its your being that he cant take away,for it is your being that he gave you.
he can take away your friends,your closest friends,your family members,but he WILL NEVER take away the being that he gave you.
even if you're alone,lonely,just remember that you're not alone,for there's someone who watches over you & helps you through your obstacles.have _____.
learn from your life now,use it to help your future.
no matter what happens,you are still you,& forever will be you.
accept life from now onwards & live life.accept all the obstacles that come your way.
accept all the lies that your friends tell.accept all the punishment your teacher gives you for nothing.
accept the fact that you are who you are,& nothing can change you.
___________________________ tomorrow.(i will not disclose this sentence)


what the use of living,
when everyday is filled with suffering?
anger,hatred & jealousy fill us everyday,
oh,i wish that the world is perfect & i wish it today.
why cant we fill ourselves with love & kindness?
& of course with happiness.
but our lives are a misery,imperfected.
why......?

nah,i think wat it told me makes sense.
im gonna live life again from today.


whats the love between us?
is it agape love?
is it philos love?
or is it eros love?
i dont know.
im just going to keep quiet & not say anything until the time is ripe.
like in the stories,tell them before its too late.
maybe?
dont know also.
i wont forget you but still EGO TE AMO,ILY.

~ends~

Some stories about love.Please read & try to understand it.
we always dont treasure things but these stories will make you understand.
(highlighted in yellow is the moral)

Message: Peter and Tina are sitting in the park doing nothing, but just gazing into the sky, while all their friends are having fun with their beloved half.
Tina: I'm so bored. Just wish I have a boyfriend now to spend time with.
Peter: I guess we're the only leftovers. We're the only person who isn't with a date now. (both sigh n silence for a while)
Tina: I think I have a good idea. Lets play a game
Peter: Eh? What game?
Tina: Eem..It's quite simple. You be my boyfriend for 100 days and I'll be your girlfriend for 100 days. what do you think?
Peter: Oookay..Anyway I don't have any plan for the next few months.
Tina: You sound like you aren't looking forward to it at all. Cheer up. Today will be our first day and our first date. Where should we go?
Peter: What about a movie? I heard that there is a really great movie in theater now.
Tina: Seems like I don't have any better idea than this. Lets move. (went to watch their movies and sent each other home)

Day 2:
Peter and Tina went to a concert together, and Peter bought Tina a keychain with a star.

Day 3:
They went shopping together for a friend's birthday present. Share an ice-cream together and hugged each other for the first time.

Day 7:
Peter drove Tina up onto a mountain and they watch the sunset together. When the night came and the moon glowed, they said sat on the grass gazing at the stars together. A meteor passed by. Tina mumbled something.

Day 25:
Spend time at a themepark and got onto rollercoasters, and ate hotdogs and cotton candy. Peter and Tina got in the haunted house and Tina grabbed someone's hand instead of Peter's hand by accident. They laughed togetherfor a while.

Day 67:
They drove pass a circus and decided to get in to watch the show. The midget asked Tina to play a part as his assistant in the magic show. Went around to see other entertainments around after the show. Came to a fortune teller and she just said "Treasure every moment from now on" and a tear rolled down the fortune teller's cheek.

Day 84:
Tina suggested that they go to the beach. The beach wasn't so crowded that day. They have their first kiss with each other just as the sun is setting.

Day 99:
They decided to have a simple day and is deciding to have a walk around the city. They sits down onto a bench.

1:23 pm
Tina: I'm thirsty. Lets rest for a while first.
Peter: Wait here while I go buy some drinks. What would you like?
Tina: Eem...Apple juice will be just fine.

1:43 pm
Tina waiting for about 20 minutes and Peter havent return. Then someone walked up to her.Stranger: Is your name Tina?
Tina: Yes, and may I help you?
Stranger: Just now down there on the street a drunk driver has crashed into a guy. I think its your friend.Tina ran over to the spot with the stranger and sees Peter lying on the floor with blood over his face and her apple juice still in his hands. The ambulance came and she went to the hospital with Peter. Tina sat outside the emergency room for five and a half hours. The doctor came out, and he sigh.

11:51 pm
Doctor: I'm sorry, but we did the best we could. He is still breathing now but God would take him away from us very soon. We found this letter inside his pocket.
The doctor hands over the letter to Tina and she goes into the room to see Peter. He look weak but peaceful. Tina read the letter and then she burst into tears. Here is what the letter said.

Tina, Our 100 days is almost over. I had fun with you during all these days. Although you may be greedy sometimes and less thoughtful, but these all brought happiness into my life. I have realize that you are a really cute girl and blamed myself for never taken the time to knowing that. I have nothing much to ask for, but I just wish that we can extend the day. I want to be your boyfriend forever and wish that you can be beside me all the time. Tina, I love you.

11:58
Tina: (sobbing) Peter. Did you know what was the wish I made on the night there was a meteor. I asked God to let us last forever. We were suppose to last 100 days so Peter! You can't leave me! I LOVE YOU, but can you come back tome now? I love you Peter. I LOVE YOU.

As the clock struck twelve, Peter's heart stopped beating. It was 100 days.

The lesson of this story is :
Tell the guy or girl that you love them beforeits too late. You never know whats going tohappen tomorrow. You never know who will beleaving you and never return.



2nd story:
Billy loved Katie with all his heart. But he never told a Single soul. Katie secretly loved him too. But she thought she would never have a chance with him. Billy asked his friends what they think of her and his friends thought she was gay. They didn't like her at all. So Billy just went along with them. They all made fun of her and made her feel really bad. Katie was so upset.

One day they followed her home from school making fun of her the whole way home. Once she got inside her house she dropped to the floor cringe. She had a crush on Billy since 3rd grade. She didn't know what to do. When Billy got home he felt real bad about what he had done. So he decided to go to Katie's house to tell her he was sorry and that he really loves her.

When he got there he knocked on the door no one answered.
The door was open so he walked in. He walked into the living room and found Katie lying dead on the floor. She had slit her wrists. Billy was so up set . He knew it was his fault she killed her self. And now he could never tell her how he really felt.

The lesson of this story is:
Don't wait to until the last minute to tell someone how you really feel. Because it just might be too late. And don't always go by what your friends say, follow your heart.



3rd story:
There was this guy who believed very much in true love and decided to take his time to wait for his right girl to appear. He believed that there would definitely be someone special out there for him, but none came.

Every year at Christmas, his ex-girlfriend would return from Vancouver to look him up. He was aware that she still held some hope of re-kindling the past romance with him. He did not wish to mislead her in any way. So he would always get one of his girl friends to pose as his steady whenever she came back. That went on for several years and each year, the guy would get a different girl to pose as his romantic interest. So whenever the ex-girlfriend came to visit him, she would be led into believing that it was all over between her and the guy. The girl took all those rather well, often trying to casually tease him about his different girlfriends, or so, as it seemed! In fact, the girl often wept in secret whenever she saw him with another girl, but she was too proud to admit it. Still, every Christmas, she returned, hoping to re-kindle some form of romance. But each time, she returned to Vancouver feeling disappointed.
Finally she decided that she could not play that game any longer. Therefore, she confronted him and professed that after all those years, he was still the only man that she had ever loved.

Although the guy knew of her feelings for him, he was still taken back and have never expected her to react that way. He always thought that she would slowly forget about him over time and come to terms that it was all over between them. Although he was touched by her undying love for him and wanted so much to accept her again, he remembered why he rejected her in the first place-she was not the one he wanted. So he hardened his heart and turned her down cruelly. Since then, three years have passed and the girl never return anymore. They never even wrote to each other. The guy went on with his life..... still searching for the one but somehow deep inside him, he missed the girl.

On the Christmas of 1995, he went to his friend's party alone. "Hey, how come all alone this year? Where are all your girlfriends? What happened to that Vancouver babe who joins you every Christmas?", asked one of his friend. He felt warm and comforted by his friend's queries about her, still he just surged on.Then, he came upon one of his many girlfriends whom he once requested to pose as his steady. He wanted so much to ignore her ..... not that he was impolite, but because at that moment, he just didn't feel comfortable with those girlfriends anymore. It was almost like he was being judged by them. The girl saw him and shouted across the floor for him. Unable to avoid her, he went up to acknowledge her.

"Hi......how are you? Enjoying the party?" the girl asked.
"Sure.....yeah!", he replied.She was slightly tipsy..... must be from the whiskey on her hand. She continued,"Why...? Don't you need someone to pose as your girlfriend this year?"
Then he answered, "No, there is no need for that anymore......"Before he can continue, he was interrupted, "Oh yes! Must have found a girlfriend! You haven't been searching for one for the past years, right?" The man looked up, as if he has struck gold, his face beamed and looked directly at the drunken girl.
He replied, "Yes......you are right! I haven't been looking for anyone for the past years."With that, the man darted across the floor and out the door, leaving the lady in much bewilderment. He finally realized that he has already found his dream girl, and she was.....the Vancouver girl all along! The drunken lady has said something that awoken him.

All along he has found his girl. That was why he did not bother to look further when he realized she was not coming back. It was not any specific girl he was seeking! It was perfection that he wanted, and yes.....perfection!!Relationship is something both parties should work on. Realizing that he had let away someone so important in his life, he decided to call her immediately. His whole mind was flooded with fear. He was afraid that she might have found someone new or no longer had the same feelings anymore..... For once, he felt the fear of losing someone.

As it was Christmas eve, the line was quite hard to get through, especially an overseas call. He tried again and again, never giving up. Finally, he got through......precisely at 1200 midnight. He confessed his love for her and the girl was moved to tears. It seemed that she never got over him! Even after so long, she was still waiting for him, never giving up.

He was so excited to meet her and to begin his new chapter of their lives. He decided to fly to Vancouver to join her. It was the happiest time of their lives! But their happy time was short-lived. Two days before he was supposed to fly to Vancouver, he received a call from her father. She had a head-on car collision with a drunken driver. She passed away after 6 hours in a coma.

The guy was devastated, as it was a complete loss. Why did fate played such cruel games with him? He cursed the heaven for taking her away from him, denying even one last look at her! How cruel he cursed! How he damned the Gods...!! How he hated himself....for taking so long to realize his mistake!! That was in 1996.

The moral of this story is :
Treasure what you have...
Time is too slow for those who wait;
Too swift for those who fear;
Too long for those who grief;
Too short for those who rejoice;
But for those who love...
Time is Eternity.

For all you out there with someone special in your heart, cherish that person, cherish every moment that you spend together that special someone, for in life, anything can happen anytime. You may painfully regret, only to realise that it is too late.


4th story:
I had three friends. Eric, Cathlyn, Carol.Eric was chased by all the girls in our high school.Cathlyn was one of those popular girls. Cheerleader, sexy, and stylish.Carol was just one of those plain and average girls .
Cathlyn and Carol were both totally crazy and wacko over Eric.Cathlyn didn't have to do anything to attract Eric.
For she was already attractive enough.Carol on the other hand, showered Eric which love and care.
Carol wasn't ugly at all.In fact, she looked sweet and pleasant.
But she wasn't a cheerleader, she didn't were spaghetti-straps or tubes.So like everyone expected, Eric chose Cathlyn.
For Carol was just one ordinary and plain girl.While Cathlyn was labele d as the cool and attractive type.
Eric always insulted Carol.

Telling her what a 'Plain Jane' she was.And how dumb she looked.Which obviously made Carol feel so hurt and useless.That's life.
Carol never gave up though.She wanted to prove something to Eric.
She wanted to prove that looks aren't everything.She studied hard, really hard.She became the top girl, and all the guys who once ignored her, chased her.But she never forgot Eric.
Everyday, she put a red rose in Eric's locker.
Always with the same words.'I care for you, and I always will'Because she knew that Eric was facing a hard time.
Eric began to realise.How dumb he had been.
His beloved girlfriend, Cathlyn.Was flirting with other guys.He regretted for choosing the wrong girl.

Cathlyn broke up with Eric later.For she had found a wealthier guy.Eric felt so cheated, stupid and dumb.
He went to look for Carol.
He knelt on his knees, and said."Carol, please forgive me. Do you want to be my girlfriend?"
Carol rejected him, much to everyone's surprise.
She only uttered these words."You've suffered a great loss, so I don't want you to face another one"
Eric felt disappointed.
He didn't understand a word that she said to him.But they became good friends.
Did everything together.Eric began to change into someone better.
Because Carol showered him with the love he never experienced before.
His ex-girlfriends had never treated him that way.
They just accepted him for his looks.But Carol accepted him for himself .She changed him.
Carol continued putting a red rose into his locker everyday.
With the same words. She never forgot.

One day, Carol didn't turn up in school.She didn't come for a week.At first, Eric thought that she was on a vacation with her family.
Because she told him that she would be going Hawaii with them.But one day.
He received a call from the General Hospital.Saying that Carol was about to die.She had been suffering from cancer.
But Carol forbade them from telling him.Because she didn't want Eric to worry about her.
But now that she was about to die.She wanted to see Eric for the last time.
Eric rushed to the hospital.
When he saw how weak Carol was.Tears began rushing down his cheeks.
He whispered."Why didn't you tell me earlier?
Why did you hide this from me?"
She looked at him . And smiled weakly at him.

"When I said that I didn't want you to suffer from facing another loss, I meant this. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to worry. I wanted to spend my last days with you cheerfully." Eric looked at her.
"You can't leave me!" he said.
"What will I be without you?"
"You'll be who you are now. I will always be there by your side. Never forget that. Cherish those times. Live life happily. And one more thing."

"Yes?" "I love you" And she died. Eric screamed.He still couldn't accept Carol's death.He had only spent a month with Carol.

A month. But Carol changed his life in a way.A way that no one could ever explain. He regretted.
But he knew that Carol would always be keeping an eye on him from Heaven.

The lesson of the story is :
Sometimes We just don't appreciate those people who really care for us.Until they leave us.
Until we lose them. Then we regret.
Outer beauty doesn't matter; it's the inner one that counts.
It's better to tell someone how much you love them.
Rather than to not tell them and lose them without telling them.
You'll regret Love is. When we fight till the very last minute.Just to show and tell someone how much we love them.

today class start a new module.

like poly sia,module here & there.

lol.

forgot wat the name le,ps.



then is like can cry lor...

so sad.

is a small boy got burned in a car accident.

then actually the parents dont know whether to pray for the son to survive or not.

but in the end also they want him to survive.

then the doctors operate on him.

more than 80% of his skin was gone in the fire.

& he got no hands or toes or proper face.

but he continued life.



then they found the guy who caused the accident.

but when they were in court,he said,"Let's not fill our life with hatred,but with love,unconditional love."

this part was the most touching.

cause he nvr hate the person but forgave the accused.



he also said these few sentences:

-"You may take away my hands,you may take away my toes,but you cannot take away my being."

-"Even if I got back my hands & toes,but what good will it do to me?It cant do anything to my being me."

-"Let us leave it to the hands of the lord."

-"What's the use of dying when we are who we are,made by the lord."



really can cry...

me & michele was imgining if we were him...

impossible to live...

yet he has so much courage to continue with life & not caring abt other obstacles.

a good example of courageous person.



~ends~

DEPRESSION:
-Depression is a serious problem that impacts every aspect of a teen’s life.


SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION IN TEENS

-Sadness or hopelessness
-Irritability, anger, or hostility
-Tearfulness or frequent crying
-Withdrawal from friends and family
-Loss of interest in activities
-Changes in eating and sleeping habits
-Restlessness and agitation
-Feelings of worthlessness and guilt
-Lack of enthusiasm and motivation
-Fatigue or lack of energy
-Difficulty concentrating
-Thoughts of death or suicide

Go to this website to learn more:
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_teen.htm



Stress:
-Stress is a psychological and physiological response to events that upset our personal balance in some way.


STRESS WARNING SIGNS & SYMPTOMS

Cognitive Symptoms
-Memory problems
-Indecisiveness
-Inability to concentrate
-Trouble thinking clearly
-Poor judgment
-Seeing only the negative
-Anxious or racing thoughts
-Constant worrying
-Loss of objectivity
-Fearful anticipation

Emotional Symptoms
-Moodiness
-Agitation
-Restlessness
-Short temper
-Irritability, impatience
-Inability to relax
-Feeling tense and “on edge”
-Feeling overwhelmed
-Sense of loneliness and isolation
-Depression or general unhappiness

Physical Symptoms
-Headaches or backaches
-Muscle tension and stiffness
-Diarrhea or constipation
-Nausea, dizziness
-Insomnia
-Chest pain, rapid heartbeat
-Weight gain or loss
-Skin breakouts (hives, eczema)
-Loss of sex drive
-Frequent colds

Behavioral Symptoms
-Eating more or less
-Sleeping too much or too little
-Isolating yourself from others
-Procrastination, neglecting responsibilities
-Using alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs to relax
-Nervous habits (e.g. nail biting, pacing)
-Teeth grinding or jaw clenching
-Overdoing activities (e.g. exercising, shopping)
-Overreacting to unexpected problems
-Picking fights with others


External Causes of Stress:
-Environmental stressors
-Family and relationship stressors
-Work stressors
-Social stressors

Internal cause of Stress:
-Uncertainty or worries
-Pessimistic attitude
-Self-criticism
-Unrealistic expectations or beliefs
-Perfectionism
-Low self-esteem
-Excessive or unexpressed anger
-Lack of assertiveness

Go to this website to know more:
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/stress_signs.htm


Physical symptoms related to long term stress:

-Body aches and pains including back pain
-Chest pain and irregular heartbeat
-Change in appetite
-Chronic fatigue
-Immune system suppression
-Hair loss
-High blood pressure
-Heart attack
-Increase or decrease in weight
-Insomnia
-Illnesses such as: Asthma, Arthritis, Cold virus (frequent cases), Digestive disorders (IE ulcers), -Periodontal disease, Jaw pain
-Migraine
-Reproductive issues such as a missed menstruation cycle
-Sexual disorder
-Skin problems


Am i nuts?
Still i cannot find out what im suffering from..
Long term stress?
Depression?
Stress?

Dont know.
im just too tired already.
too tired to do anything.
but i think i should just tell myself:
"No matter what happens,always think positive"


~ends~

reply to tags.

to:

lijing:updated a long lenghty post.

serika:du-uh.c'mon,bestie dude.

on to posting.

today most unlucky day la.
& it was also lame.

went to school,didnt had any hand available to take off earpiece.
then haminda sabo kia.
then mdm lee saw me.
confiscate my earpiece for a month. -.-
sianz.
then do duty until perspire like a mad donkey like that.

english sucks.
so lazy,just talk & do classwork only.
happy that the whole day also nvr say vulgarities.
then science slept,cause ms wang mc.
haha.
then is math after recess.
boring sia.
then literature only listen to ghost story nvr do literature.
so must have remedial la.
but quite nice also.
since no assembly,went to art room.
flunk my art by 20 marks.
but hack care & just kept on chatting about sensitivity.

then band.
fall in,like very sick like that...but just continue.

then trombone tutor come,

test us,in the end i also can tongue.

lol.then go back band room play shenandoah.
i was the only one playing trombone3 la!!

****.

go home no mood le.

wats up with adults?
they suck la!!
angry man!


i miss you alot.
like if i nvr talk to you or see you once will die.
pls,
i hope that we both will be together some day.
i just cant stop thinking abt you every now & then.


~ends~

lol.
first,gonna reply the tags in this post & then update.

replys to:

lijing:wa seh...dont feel honoured.

waihian:aiseh,punguin can use com type meh?=X

liyun:pss,dont wan ppl like apple noe ma.understand?lol.

liza:yup~since pri2,i also noe.be thankful i nvr write lizard.XD ok la,give you face,change for you.

michele:call me xiiaocrabbiie in class & i'll call you xiiao-loo-i. haha=)



k,time to updates.

the first 2 lesson was pe,so mr teo was on examnations duty.
then mr chia took over us for pe,i mean the new one.
& goodness,he looks like mr ng!!
we all say he's mr ng's son.
lol.
then jasmine was really too much,
i mean,yea.
she's like keep looking down la.
so wat if my maths not good?still got science rite?still got other subjects right?
then play badminton.
play with jilin until i fall down,malu sia...
then keep changing place because of the wind.
then play with jingping so boring.
then with sihui,better.

jasmine is so damn ****.
i mean,look down on me for wat?
idiot.
so wat if she from express?
ACBC.
only think that math & chinese good then must look down la!!

then sihui is so....
irritating.everytime also get scolding for nothing because of her.
then keep on chopping my paper.
science keep on talking crappy stuff.

shermane is so ps kia,so nb.
angry with ppl so fast.
so kao pei.
only noe how to sabo ppl.

inging is a damn ****ing flirt.
only noe how to laugh so damn loud & flirt with boys.

denise is ok but sometimes really give up on her.
so poor thing,got ps,but really pro in english.

benedict is another ****ing retarded.
who only noe how to bully ppl but when ppl say about him,
he shout & scold.
wtf.

most of the chinese boys only noe talk about maple maple & more maple.
all dont want study then dont come to school lah!

all the malay girls except for aziemah & maisarah(not alien),
can be angry very fast de.
all only noe ask for help but always insult.
like whole clique against ppl like me when i scold one of them.
wth la.

chinese girls like bell & apple all is woah...
so damn big mouth.
especially apple.
limin is mayb the better one.

malay boys all sicko minded.
darren is a damn bloody b*****d.
ryan insults catholics.
thain seng,aik hock & chee meng are f***ers.
tommy,chuan kai,chuan bin are still normal.
jerome maybe from the N(T) but N(T) students does better then N(A) students!!

ziqing is like.....dunnoe how to explain.
aziemah & noor is still fine with me...

liyun,dunnoe wat to say.
but really does fine with her work.not so much problem at all.


this post isnt for insulting or talking bad abt others,
but since i really got fed up,decided to tell the truth about the whole class.



wats wrong with tiong?
fail me my english by giving me a 6?!
F*** la!
insult ppl mother some more!
give you face now,next time scold you back or throw things at you lah!
ass...


i have to admit.
as each days passes,the root of love grows deeper & deeper into my heart.
like the root growing deeper & deeper into the soil.
each time i talk to you or you talk to me,
stammerings starts or becomes quiet.
i dunot know how to explain the fondness of you within me....
but all i can say now is:

I Love You.


~ends~

yup.
its my first post in my personal blog.
& i suppose....
hmm....
i think i'll update everyday??
not sure.
but definetly about life,love life,etc.
hope you peeps will enjoy.
will invite if you ask luh.

ps:its personal url not to tell the whole world to be linked.=X

` C.laudia S.L.Y.X
` 16;22nd July
` Green FREAK
` Lame,Crazy,Hyper & Fun around
` Friends before anything
` Panda's are loved

Dont judge me without knowing me